Real Beauty Vs. Porn Beauty

Every once in a while I get overwhelmed with sadness by the way men look at women. I want to respect men and trust men and I don’t want to believe the stories that come up in my head about how dumb some men are when it comes to their decisions about women. I want to believe that men (and everyone else) are GOOD.

Yes, I am Pollyanna.

Yes, I said it. Elephant in the room be gone.

I have one guy friend that is the way I wish all men would be. Ryan Walker. He actually likes women and appreciates their qualities as a whole. He sees attractiveness as the entire package combined. He treats women extremely well and maintains friendships long after dating. I bet I know a few more men like this, but he comes to mind first thing. Oh, and Mark Applebaum. There’s two. Oh, and all the men who truly love and adore their wives and rub their feet and find them sexy no matter their size. I have met quite a few of them as well. (Ok, so that’s like 16.)

I’ve got these 16 on a pedestal and I want to keep them there. (As protection for the days like today. Mantra: ‘I like men. I like men. Men are good. Men are good.’)

I get the whole biological imperative thing. I get the whole “I have to be sexually attracted’ thing. BUT I think sexual attraction in a person with an open, healthy heart is different than sexual attraction for someone who’s just on the ‘catch and release’  p*ssy hunting program.   (This is where the Porn Beauty Ideal is at play, me thinks.)

It pains me to see men so completely taken by women who are putting it all out there, desperately,  front and center,  that seem to miss the loads of beauty that are all around them everyday, although not packaged for sale on parade. I have a gift, I know, of seeing beauty in every person if it’s there to be seen, but why are so many men and women now aware of only what is so blatantly presented? (Hello big fake balloons, fake eyelashes, fake white teeth, vroom vroom sportscar…ad nauseum)

It must be that attention deficit thing.

Yes, I am in the “beauty” biz. I like things to be esthetically pleasing. Italy, France, Art, Dance, Beauty, Color, Design ~I’m all over it. I make pretty.

But No, I do not subscribe to our f#ckedUp media frenzy on a limited definition of beauty. I do not believe porn should define the amount of makeup a normal woman wears in the daytime, or push the trend of false eyelashes and heavy eyeliner to 14 year old girls. A few years ago it was frowned upon to wear so much daily makeup. Entire documentaries were created to make fun of Tammy Faye who, ironically, is a very genuine person.

If you can’t see your skin through it, it’s too much.

The sadder state, still, is that many men think this looks ‘Hot.” (Case in point, the surgically altered Megan Fox.)

I digress.

If you want to define this as a rant, so be it. My point is, if you are wanting the herds of media-mutated and brainwashed opposite sex to notice you, you may have to be more blatant. (gag)

Think Peacocks.

Unless you’re willing to hold out to find someone like Ryan Walker.

This will be hard on you, as it is for just about every woman I know. Even and especially the ‘perfect’ ones, because they are never sure that anyone ever really  likes them for who they are! (Didn’t see that one coming, did you?)

You gotta believe me when I say this, because I’m gonna throw some secret Ninja LOA Secret Mystic Truth out there for you to grasp.

You gotta find your own beauty.

You gotta see it. You gotta feel it. You gotta rule it.

I know. It’s hard. We’re not even going to go into it.

But this is the truth. (Take a breath here) Because anywhere in time all around the world, some different form of lovely has always been elevated. There has always been a Norma Jean and a Marilyn Monroe every where you go.

You are Norma Jean and Marilyn Monroe.

Every day you vacillate between the two.

(Guys, think Peter Parker/Spiderman.)

You WILL be attractive if you THINK you are. When you OWN that confidence, that MOJO, when you walk tall into a room, when you feel your sensuality and your loveliness, people can feel it. (Even the dumb ones sometimes!) And yes, you have to work it.  Sometimes when you don’t feel it, you have to ACT like you do. That’s how Marilyn Monroe evolved from a shy girl.

And for what it’s worth, being good and kind is the loveliest lovely of all.

Auretha Callison,

Authentic Beauty Maven




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