12 Secrets to Being your Most Attractive You Online & In Person


Visibility takes Confidence and Courage

Being seen, for some of us, takes heaps of courage.

Many people have had traumatic experiences in school or been verbally abused by parents or teachers.

Perhaps we were criticized or corrected harshly when we stood up in our first moments of visibility.

We learned quickly to be quiet and ‘get small’ or hide to avoid pain or survive abuse.

  1. The first key to visibility is feeling safe.

We have to choose and create safety in our lives where we are not physically, emotionally or spiritually in danger for speaking our truth or we are willing to be in danger for our beliefs, as Malala Yousafzai is doing today.

Standing up and being visible means that others may take an opinion of us that we do not like. They may not like us for how we look, speak or what we believe.

If we take a position, we can be sure, there will be some that will take an equal and opposite position.

  1. You may find (as I have found) that I am sometimes a trigger for other person’s subconscious wounds. My confidence and candor can cause people to either be attracted to or repelled by me.

They love and appreciate my loving ‘mother/big sister’ energy or their hurts with their mothers are brought to the surface.

I am not responsible for how others feel about me, but I can do my best to heal my own injuries, and get clear about who I am and how I am of service in the world.

If I do not heal my own injuries, I will play out countless dramas when I stand up, get visible and speak my message.

We trigger one another in order to heal, so we can embrace it as spiritual growth instead of resisting it. It can actually be fun!

Notice what triggers you in others and also the issues you trigger in others.

You discover in your triggers what is truly important to you (your core values) and that may be the very key to expressing your Genius Message to the world.

Your triggers and core values define how you are different to both yourself and your Perfect Audience.

  1. We have to be willing to shine our light and take up the space we are here to fill. Some call it stepping into your Destiny.

How will we know when we are taking up the right amount of space in the world? We will feel stretched and excited as we do things the first few times but get to where it feels comfortable and fun.

We won’t feel exhausted or overwhelmed when we are showing up in the world in the capacity we are designed to fill.

We will feel satisfied with how many people we are reaching and touching and feel excited to wake up in the morning.

Oprah-level visibility is different than say, your favorite blogger or actor-level visibility. I’m inspired by @Dooce and Parker Posey. I don’t want to be mobbed when I go anywhere like Oprah would be, but I’d love to have a cult following that’s entertained by my bizarre sense of humor and observations of the world.

It’s up to us to experiment with what level of visibility feels comfortable to us at our own pace.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. {juicy, juicy, JUICY!}

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”  

Marianne Williamson

Now is the time to heal. Now is the time to embrace your brilliance and take a stand to share your message. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. (Matt. 5:14 NAS)

It’s time to march up your hill and shine your light!


My 12 Top ‘Attraction in Action’ Secrets



There is NO ONE like you.

You may be a hot mess, a wall flower, a dork.

Smart, blonde, black as Africa.

Hippy, sassy or classy.

A Mad Man, a Prima Donna, a Redneck.

You may be sporting tats or a mohawk, or rocking a dangerous fro.

Boxers, briefs or Granny Panties….

Whatever you look like and whoever you are makes you distinctive, sexy and different.

You are the only one who can throw off the lines of convention to express this Divine You on this planet.

I have always seen the world as a Disco Ball.

The Light of the Creator shines on all of us as separate yet connected pieces of mirror, and reflects back to Itself through Us a beautiful and shocking splendor ~all of our individuality.

Together unique, we shine as Divine.

If our mirror is dulled, our luminescence is dimmed.

It is up to us to SHINE Up and SHOW Up so that our Divine Light may reflect back to others as bright as the Sun!


Body Confidence

You gotta rock the body you got sent to the planet with.

It is your Sacred Container of Hotness.

All Aliveness pours from its frame.

It makes babies, it makes people melt, it stretches, it grows, it lifts.

It’s a powerful, sensual work of Art.


It holds untold pleasures and tastes and expressions.

It is, in a word, GLORIOUS.

Whatever you or your culture has defined as “big” on your body, or distinctive, (what separates you from most people) whether it is your nose or your eyes or your booty, learn to work and enjoy and play with that feature.

Embrace that you are beautiful, and that your container is perfect as is.

AND that you can love it by giving it more attention if you want.

Shape it, shake it, adorn it, work it out, define it.

Dress it up.

Take it out to dinner and show it off.

Learn how to make it look amazing or how to feel great about it.

*(If you need help, I’m awesome at helping you see your juicy bits in a new and wonderful way!)


Flashing a Stunning, Signature Smile

Your teeth may not be perfect (do the best with them when you can) but busting an award-winning grin is one of the secret sexy power moves that takes control in any situation.

It trumps any other energy in the room.

When you back it up with your confidence, emotion and vitality, your smile is a nuclear weapon of attraction.

You’ve just captured the flag and your vibration is at the top of the room.

(Anyone who doesn’t acquiesce is probably someone you don’t want to play with anyway.)

The Alive People will take your lead and follow the fun.

Lauren Hutton’s tooth gap was her signature beauty mark. It’s up to you if you can rock what you’ve got to make it your signature smile.

If not, hit the orthodontist up for any necessary cosmetic treatments of tooth re-placement or filling gaps, if that is holding you back from flashing that fantastic smile!

Pearly Whites need to be pearly white, not blinding white.

*Soul Style Tip: Ideally, you don’t want your teeth to be whiter than your eyes. Adding hydrogen peroxide to your toothbrush before you brush is a great way to get a healthy, naturally white, inexpensive smile.



How tall you stand directly correlates to how willing you are to be seen.

It also sends a primal signal that you are an Alpha, or a leader. When you stand tall you are saying to others that you are strong, powerful and confident.

Standing tall is also one of the healthiest choices you can make for your spine and all over health, along with taking long, deep breaths.

It also makes your body look thinner, your stomach lay flatter, and actually tones the muscles in your back and abs.

The benefits go on and on. Practice a natural, relaxed tall stance in the mirror. Try recording your videos standing up!


Being Emotionally Present

When someone deeply listens and connects with you, how does it make you feel?

Valued? Honored? Respected?

When we give the gift of our entire attention to others, it shows them that we are capable of truly hearing them, solving their problems, and leading them.

It shows them that we are comfortable in our own skin and beliefs, non-defensive, and have a peaceful, respectful, abundant attitude of giving in relationships and in our work.

If we are not willing to listen to others, we will not garner the respect of being heard.



Who doesn’t like to feel the energy of someone who is real? Imperfect people are believe-able and attractive. Enough said.

When you’re not hiding the real you, or your real truth, it inspires people to honor their own truth. If I have the courage to actually speak or share or reveal my truth~ you can, too.

Authenticity is the newest, most ancient, hot commodity.

I have to trust you and believe you to like, listen to or buy from you.


Get a GREAT headshot

A current representation of you in your best energy says oodles online. Whether it’s your dating profile or business headshot, it’s critical to keep it current and fresh.

There are entire parts of the brain designated to facial recognition. If you’re hiding who you are now with an old or tired photograph, people can sense it.

Meet with a makeup artist, hair stylist and your favorite photographer for a chest-up stunner.

(Be prepared to take 100 photos to get a few good ones and smile like you mean it!)



There is almost nothing that makes me feel sleek, sexy and more powerful like feeling emerging muscles underneath my skin where there used to be mush!   I do just a few exercises a day at home to firm and build my arms and lower bod. It’s not hard or time consuming! It feels great.

Self-care is a very important key to successful visibility.


Soul Styling ~Expertly Packaging and Showing Off the Best of the Body and Soul you’re in!

This is, of course, my trademark work to express the you of you.

The right clothing, hair, makeup, genius (our offering of our brilliance to the world,) logo, photographs, videos and brand message can mean all the difference between being invisible and gloriously taking the world by storm.


Vitality & Energy

It’s hard to feel sexy and attractive with no energy.

Sex Energy in itself is an energy of creation, of Life Force.

If one is not healthy, that raging sexual energy cannot come forth. The Chi is dampened.

Eating Superfoods, getting plenty of rest and beauty sleep, regular energizing movement, exercise for strength, time in nature, lots of oxygen and sunlight, self-love and connected love with others and pets will all raise your vitality.

Energy is life itself.



Having passion is not only an expression of your vitality, it’s an expression of that vitality captured and put in motion towards something, someone or an activity or project.

Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks (my mentor) says, “Commitment is gathering your energy up and heading in a direction.”

A person with passion inspires and engages us. We want that energy!

We are drawn to hear what that person is talking about because their energy is so high that we cannot help but listen. Our souls are drawn to the passion of others.

Persuading people and engaging people to ourselves or our message is all about presenting with passion.


Being and Having Fun

Being and having fun is a decision and a life choice. Fun people are magnetic to everything they want!

Fun is a power center that people sometimes forget in their attempt to be experts. You may have all the information, but if you present it while having fun with people you’re much more likely to be chosen over other experts in your field.

Fun=positive energy. People like positive energy.

People are attracted to fun like bees to honey.

If you’re having fun, it really doesn’t matter what other people are doing because you are in control of your life and destiny. It gives you power that no one can take and no one can fake.

Thank you for taking the time to read my truth on what I’ve noticed to be sexy and attractive in people over the years. I hope that you will choose into truly loving and expressing your authentic self, and giving the world the gift of YOU.


12 Secrets to Being your Most Attractive You Online & In Person

©Auretha, Soul Stylist & Visibility Expert @Auretha.com


Love and Authentic Beauty,


Soul Stylist & Visibility Expert


3 Replies to “12 Secrets to Being your Most Attractive You Online & In Person”

  1. I’m loving your blog Auretha! I was the representative on the phone that you’ve talked to a week ago. You told me to check what the yellow butterfly symbolizes. I decided to check out your blog too! It’s so informative and helpful! More power!

  2. Wow, Auretha, you really hit all the important parts for being a healthy, happy, centered person. I am so happy with you Soul Styling for me and I fell vibrant and happy. Can’t wait until we go further with my transformation. Hugs and love to you!

  3. Sara!!! SOOOO good to hear from you!!! So what does the yellow butterfly symbolize??
    Thanks for writing me!!
    XOXO Auretha

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.