Commitment : Seam-Ripping the Tags and Labels Off of New Relationships

This morning the itchy tags on my new clothes got to me. I’d been wearing them for just long enough to notice. As I got out my little scissors to seam-rip the tags out carefully in bright light, I thought of the metaphor in what has been happening with my new relationship.

When I commit to clothing, I take the tags out.

It’s work!  Careful work with tiny scissors or a seam ripper. I keep the receipts but I throw away all the other stuff. I’ve tried it on. I’ve worn it. I’ve usually washed it. If it still fits and I like it….I commit by taking the tags off very carefully, in order not to damage the garment.

I met a man two and a half months ago. We became fast friends and dinner companions. We’ve been getting along fabulously, taking trips together every chance we get. Our essence speeds seem to match, we both move fast and don’t like to stick around any place too long. Our lives are merging together seamlessly, a feat if you’re forty plus!

I’ve held my foot on my emotional brake the entire time, insisting on a friendship first before anything else developed, if it ever even would- no expectations.

Friendship First. Stability. Trust. I like you, but do I trust you?

I’ve had 2 months plus to examine how safe I feel with this person.

After much evaluation and kitchen-testing, does this person improve the quality of my life? YES.

Does this person make me feel safe, cared for and valued? YES.

Does this person help me accomplish my greater purpose in the world? YES

It might be time to take that ‘We’re Just Friends’ TAG off.

It’s not feeling quite right anymore. My heart has become very warm towards this person.

I resent being labeled. Of course everyone is very curious!!  ‘Are you guys a couple? What is going on here?’

Labels are convenient, but sometimes one label doesn’t fit for emerging relationships. Is there energy between us for a long term friendship? Is there romantic potential? I’m not sure but I’m willing to watch where it GROWS, unassisted by my intentions.

I’m just an observer here, going with the flow.

I’m past the point of trying to ‘MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.’ I want something organic. I want to see what blossoms. I commit to showing up 100% on the blank page (Tabula Rasa) to see what wants to emerge.

Several months ago I had my heart broken…again. My heart wasn’t broken by a person, it was broken by my own premature expectations, and I wasn’t about to let that happen again.

THIS TIME.. it would be a HEART BRAKE.

No more rushing headlong into emotional commitment before I make certain the ship will hold water over weeks and months at a time. I don’t need something I have to fix. I don’t need something for which I have to change. I simply don’t have the energy for that kind of maintenance anymore.

I need easy. I need natural. I need something that just WORKS on it’s own, like the house that’s ready to move in upon purchase without a remodel.

After 2 1/2 months, my body feels rested. My breathing is easy. There’s a natural give-and-take. I trust myself to take the  tags and labels off now, and we’ll see where it goes.

No more itch.